Oh and

Saw first fireflys last week. Monarch butterfly just a moment ago. It is summer.

The jazz fest was very good. A nice way to spend a saturday afternoon. I will need to dig up more things like that to do on weekends. Cant be all camping! But man i spent like 60 bucks on food and drinks and swag and cds. All for a good cause. The arts.

Im gonna finish up my lawn mowing then saddle up for a ride in pachaug. See if the demon deer flies are attacking. It is breezy so maybe not. If they are i guess i move my rides over to airline. The boring trail. Or maybe seek out some nearby singletrack for after work and keep weekends ride free, ready for hiking and exploring new things.

I hate mowing the lawn.

Jazzy afternoon

Yes. First band was swinging traditional jazz, the type you dance and move to with smiles. Nice way to start a beautiful day. Second band is more smooth. Quartet. The kind you can read to. Crazy good sax. Im reading steinbeck and smiling. This is looking to be one of the best novels i have ever read. Im in love with his prose. And loving this jazz. Weather is perfect and i mean perfect! Two bands left. Good choice. Just wish mike was with me.

No sleep blues

When i got home from work i kinda climbed into bed. Got no sleep night before. I fell asleep. Woke around midnight. Wonderful. So i let dog out and did some kitchen pantry cleaning. Climbed back into bed at 2am, but of course cannot fall asleep. Now it is 5am. Just plain wonderful. I might as well start the day now

The insanity that having a drunk for an offspring, brings to your life

Ugggh

Have to come up with bail. $1900. Uggh. It will take a few weeks but i guess i have to. There goes my new bike

On a better note

That time of the year

My brain needs a rest already. Coding up new things and finally i am on the right page. Feels good. Now if i can stay focused.

Chris is coming east. Who knows how long she will stay, no job now, no place to live. She could come to casino. But she wont. Ugggh. Oh well, not my circus. My life will continue on whatever course i am on.

Ya know

I am a widow. Strange word and a strange feeling. I have been missing him more and more lately, now that the drunk is not around. Lonely. No one to talk to at the end of the day. No one to send out on food runs or grocery grabs. No fun doing it by myself. Really beginning to suck.

I need to ride more.

Quiet

Weekend was quiet. Just me talking to myself alot. Out loud. Nice weather finally. No word from the drunk.

This Saturday is the jazz fest. Should be fun. But yet another activity i have to do alone. I really missed him this weekend. When will the sadness go away?

Work was a big scrwwup last week. I still have the feeling i am being pushed out. Too old. I did find out i can retire and collect and keep working full time. Might be an option to get money in bank. But first the house.

Doing another campout over solstice. Yay

And i guess she was right

She is in prison. I have gotten two calls from the jail phone system, missed both. Oh well. She did it to herself. And it puts me under more stress since she will expect me to get the kids ok to take them to visit her. And no, i wont. Their mom is a stupid drunk who cant seem to grasp that she cannot just do whatever.

Ok ok

I admit this weekend was pretty nice with my grandchild. She is growing up so fast, yet is still the sweet little one. Most times. At least she does not throw tantrums like her mother.

The drunk came home this morning. Had court so i expected her to waltz in. Of course she has some sort of drama and tries to include me, her fake tears for someone who died. Half second later no tears or crying eyes but laughing at a video. I mean it was seconds after i turned and left the room. She may be going to jail cuz i dont think she is in a program. Oh well, it will be quiet and calm. I can only hope.

Work has picked up to crazy the past week. Lovin it.

Plans for more camping soon.

Camping

I sure do miss the old fart when i am camping. Violet keeps my time occupied though. And the dog. But if i am going to go away camping, dog has to go to kennel. She is just too much work. No time or space for me.

I think i will go camping again in a few weeks. Bring violet with me again. She just loves the freedom. But i have to get a porta potty for camp. Just too much to constantly walk down to toilets. She wouldn’t go on it first few times scared. That is ok though. She is such a beautiful child.