Archive for stuffs

oh oh no

I’ve been following this low for about a week, knew it would turn to a hurricane. and the chances are that it will hit us are gaining strength. Of course it will.

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now I do know that the track has gone from this one, to further west hitting NC, and now is moving back east. Maybe it will blow out to sea, but I doubt it. I hope it does, don’t want to deal with this crap. and it may only be a storm not a hurricane when it arrives, but that still is not nice. If it moves a wee bit more east, we should be good, with lots of rain but not as much wind. if it stays on this track, we are not going to be happy campers, we gonna have a week of no services, and people whining. It is already non-stop on the news and it will only get worse. Right now I am glad I don’t have TV.

Just hope it moves further east. way further.

trying new things

I am trying out windows live writer here. Needed to find a windows blog editor, and most are mac. Like my Mars Edit, and my old Ecto. We will see if this works out better.

meh It seems sufficient. maybe I might even like it.

Going to redesign my bike blog. I was going to do this one, but I like it too much. the bike blog needs it. or I may just figure out how to make it two columns. Yeah that would work cuz I kinda like the ruled paper background. ahh decisions decisions

gotta ride

IMG_0798Not ridden in over a week. So I must ride tomorrow after work. I think I may just go in tonight, Saturday for me. I was going to call in sick and use up my last sick day. but… we will see how it goes after my drive to New Haven to deliver paperwork to DSS for Dad and now Mom. and cuz I want to drive. But going in tonight means a bit of a heavy work night. Got a show to clean up after, and need to play lets make a deal to get an english speaking trash person who can use a radio on my crew. They suspended my only other english speaker male who is physically able to do trash. This part of the job so sucks. The show will be possibly gamblers, lynard skynard. They might gamble. There is a show in the other theater as well, frank sinatra jr. we all know those people will play slots. So things might be busy. at least until 4am. If I go in, I can go see Mark and thank him. I could do that tomorrow night also, will be less stress. I just have to figure out now when I will give notice. I will work the 6th day OT this coming week. And take a vacation day on the 20th so I can go to opening night ballgame on 19th. Inviting Mark to it. Let’s see if he goes. 

And calling in sick would not be a lie. I was sick tuesday night, and I am still sick. sneezing, coughing, itchy eyes, raspy throat. It is either an intense case of allergies (do you get congested in the chest with allergies?) or I caught what was going around with the other supers/mgmt. Joe was sick, Emmett was still sick, Queena was sick, coughing and sneezing after she returned from vacation. Maybe the in and out of cold and heat, and cold and heat not only inside the casino but outside weather. Anyway. We see in a few hours if I want to take that sick day now. 

yeah. Excitement and a bit of maybe… fear? Can I do this job? I want to leave Foxwoods on a good note, so if needed I can return in some role, either ESD supervisor or some other position fitting of my talents. Maybe with a few months of this job under my belt, I can be considered for a higher level marketing job at the woods. Or not. I just want to keep options open. 

I should read instructions.

I went and added some security features for the site, and locked myself out. Back running today
So i go to work saturday. I am assigned fox tower team 4. Again. Mostly non english speakers. Lovely. And i am so lonely there. No one to talk to that i care to talk to. The security is mainly young guys. No women. And no Mark. Boooo
And we got hit with more snow, so i went in early, saturday afternoon, but no room to be had. I was prepared to car camp though. So i did. Slept fitfully. But did sleep. I now have improvements to make on the setup. Froze a bit, this is where a mummy bag is a better choice. Need some sort of padding, and i have that, and some more perm window shades.
Have to put off the teeth adventure this week, not enough money yet. One more week. I will use up the rest of my sick time to heal. Lauren says she will make me meals to eat. I hope so. I cannot wait to be able to once again eat a sandwich with sourdough bread. Or a steak. Or corn on the cob.
Tmrw when i get home, i will finish the application for dads stuff. And then work on moms stuff. Get it over with. Then be done with them and their affairs. But i do miss seeing dad. I just have to haul my ass up there. Bring his great granddaughter to visit. At least once. Maybe he will be lucid.
I have to figure out a way to go clear across the casino to see Mark sometime soon. I miss his smile. We talked weds for quite some time. I think he is no longer upset over my leaving him presents. I almost left him a rose this morning, they were all over the theater. But thought better of it. In case i got assigned to team 1 tonight. I hope i do, but chances are I am outta there. Oh well. Maybe now we can start a relationship?

Dilly dally

I have been up and just lying in bed since 5am. Nothing done other than the last blog post and a cup of chai tea. And i wonder why things never get done, never get finished. Oh wait, i did create a poster in canva. Just some words that came to me and I wrote down, and now have made an inspiration from them. Yeah right.

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Last night i was doing my no one is home i play the music loud thing, and realized that all my life i have been performing. Making people believe i was someone. So why did i never see this before? Is my job at foxwoods giving me insight at this old age? Can i actually perform, act? Hmmmmm. I sure as hell am not an artist. Yeah, photography is a good outlet for me, but so hard to capture what i really see. But acting?
Hmmmmmm

3PM. Well I did do my taxes and filed them, got the letter written to DSS requesting a hearing for the nursing home to not send dad home for non-payment, and listening to some music. Just have to go out and mail the letter registered mail. That happens in a few minutes. Oh joy. Then tonight will get the rest of the paperwork done for dad, and maybe maybe tomorrow venture up to granby and get the stuff I need to complete it. So much to get done.

trying so hard for a new path

I am headed for a job interview this morning. Customer service. in a nice design company, furniture design. If it pays enough, and I get it, gone gone gone from casino. I need very much to get out of the casino. out of third shift. I have adapted to the work hours, and actually can enjoy them. But since the first of the year, the working conditions have deteriorated to the point I am in almost tears every night. No people. They did a rebid for shift, and of course the other shifts got filled with people from our shift. So where we were already short, we got shorter. And have to do the same job. and are getting bitched at when we can’t do the job to the old standards, with fewer people. I cannot do anything to change things, and it is frustrating. “I’ve taken to eating tramadols like candy, just to be able to sleep and then walk the miles. That started though before this stuff. Another story.

Violet is growing like a weed. She is so beautiful. Lauren is doing a good job so far in being patient. I see her at least once a week, and she smiles so wonderfully when she sees me. Someone who loves unconditionally, who is not a dog. 

Quiet holidays. Work and no money. Mom was released from her nursing home/rehab on Christmas eve. Having to go visit her a few times a week for the month was really pissing me off. and having to still go up there now every week is getting even more pissy. She has someone come in every day now, and she is paying it. But when I was there, she bitched about me asking for gas money. I am going to take her to the docs tomorrow and then she can have her hired help take her to any future appointments. Enough is enough. If I get a day job, she will have to do that anyway, I am not going to jeopardize a job for her needs. My needs come first.

And there is this guy. At work. I think I may write a whole separate post on this. 

New mouse

Needed to buy something to feel better.

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meh

It got cloudy yesterday. So I “relaxed” by watching TV. yeah. Sometimes you just have to revert to comfort and old things.

Today is cloudy as well, but I knew it would be, so I think I will do some cleaning here. ha.

morning coffee

One major benefit of being back home, in the morning, the coffee is ready for me. I don’t have to make it. I don’t have to make someone else’s breakfast, lay out the pills. I only have to make my breakfast. If I choose coffee only, there is nothing but the pouring. ahhh the simple life

Cat is rubbing up on the laptop. She is a sweet old cat. Vet thinks she is between 12 and 15. She acts young still. I am so glad that Frank had to give her up. I missed having a cat. Her nose is very wet and cold.

no work makes me sad

I have no work on the book right now. The one prospect that I had been hoping to sign, said they were not liking the 75% retainer, so signed with someone else. I knew that might be a hangup, but for a minimum cost site, where I was giving them a break on the price to begin with, screw em. I kept getting the feeling that they were going to be pains anyway, but I was willing to put up with it in order to get in work. I have two others that I can pressure this week. I need to be working.

Headed back home for a few days after doc visit and possibly bike ride today. I need to be home.

I was smiling a lot yesterday, I went for a drive to fax something, and took the scenic route. The smile was big. And considering that I stopped taking the prozac, I was happy that I was smiling. I finally have some light, some peace. I just need to be home more now. and working.