Archive for good stuff – Page 2

my tires worked well

the new tires I bought in December paid off. I got into work yesterday in the snowstorm. however, next time it snows, I will go a different route. Laurel Hill and Rt 12 have too much traffic, and I was afraid I’d get stuck behind someone who could not make it up the hills, like all those cars I saw on the other side of the rode down near the looney hospital. 

I am hoping to be able to get out on a ride tomorrow, if it warms up a bit. I should have finished making my bike booties, my toes are going to freeze. we’ll see if it is a go. 

and no mr mr. I am leaving him alone for a while, gosh it’s been over a month since I bugged him! hmmmmm maybe I bug him tonight. nah, not likely to get out of bed and go out in the cold just to not see him. fuck it.

when 3am rolls around

I was in an odd mood last night. decided to take a trammie on the way home from simsbury. but it did not seem to affect me. that was around 6pm. later I was in bed for a bit, and took a gaba and when it started to descend on me, it was nice. i was half sleepy, enough to not watch anymore tv, but not enough to fall asleep. it felt nice. i wandered around the bedroom a bit, and when I did lie down and close my eyes, the first show was the waves of dark rolling over my eyes, darker and darker, but it seems the background lightened up so the next wave, literraly a wave in my eyes, was dark. i walked around again, then the next show was kinda a bunch of fluid paintings, muted colors shapes, faces and things of creation that I wish I could put on a surface to retain. but definitely not an eyeshow that I have experienced since acid days. eyes shut, but still. it was nice. sensations were nice. I finally must have fell asleep. woke just before my alarm at ten til 8. then not again until 11. My cold is still with me. it has to be a sinus infection cuz the cold is not moving to the chest and then out of me. but it has been 2 weeks now. I felt good yesterday, all stuffed up again today. I’ll try the neti pot and see if it helps. 

I had visions of doing a ride today, it is warm enough. but with this head cold or whatever it is, I think I will just stay inside and work on my bikes. Have to head to colchester fabric mill and scope it out, maybe buy some corder for the toe warmers I want to fashion. a couple styles. have to experiment. my old velocipac one will serve as a pattern. boy, I am so glad my grandmother taught me to sew and that I had home economics teach me the rest. I see a pattern and I know how to use it. I used to make my own bile clothes. a few things, I made a top for a pair of shorts and stitched them together into a skin suit.  I remember. I remember. 

yeah. onward. get stuff done.

done one

I took the whole day and cranked out a website. instead of learning a new framework, I used my good old akita. one down, one more to get this week. 

david bowie died yesterday. sad. genius. showman.

and while doing the website, I somehow got things cleaned up a bit in my space. more cleaning to do, but it is a start. now to sustain that energy.

week of getting things done

The upcoming week I will dedicate to the tasks I must do. Get the things done I must get done, for others, for myself. Mom’s bank account, the insurance phone call, my eye doctor appointment, my dents appointment. Cleaning out the house here. 

Let’s see how good I am at this. I have had some success on staying out of the fantasy land.  It is something that I think had really been holding me back the past year. Time to jump forward. ahh yes, leap year.

Oh, and if it takes me more than a week, that is fine. I will forge on.

starting self-therapy

The past few days I have tried at least during the day, to notice when I am off in my fantasy and pull myself out. It’s hard. One day this week I will try to see if there is a term for my condition and then read up on it.

rode on new year’s day. babysat Violet on Saturday, and it was cool. she is at full speed and curious about the world. so cool. it is like seeing things through her eyes, when she roams around and looks at the oddest of things, the string hanging, the piece of dust on the carpet. so cool. Sunday I took Jed to the movies in North Haven, star wars. not the best movie I have seen, it was a bit disappointing, as there was no real gripping storyline. It lacked excitement. 

it finally got January cold. Probably dropped into single digits last night. I went to Granby after work to turn off water and check to see if oil was delivered and if the furnace had gone out. luckily it was all good. I turned off the water heater, and the refrigerator as they were sucking electricity. no need to have them running. Save her some money. This weekend I will go up and do some clearing out of crap. Force myself through it. Has to be done. 

I figure if it is clear and reasonably warmer, I will ride a bot this sunday. As long as there is no snow on the ground I will try to ride. And maybe the temp above freezing. 

holiday recap

Little Violet is still too young to really get excited about christmas, but that is good. She was toddling around at full speed, barefoot or in shoes. so delightful to see. Brought mom to dinner on christmas eve at Billy’s. It was good for her to be around her family. christmas day I took her to see dad, and it was good. Mike went to jersey, so that was good. I did not even go pursue mr mr and that was good. 

IMG 1246

IMG 1252

Lauren drank she says once, but I know better. she is back to sobriety and I know in two weeks she will again be on that edge. I will remind her of that hurdle she has. I will stay vigilant for Violet. 

and surprisingly, I did not drink anything. that surprises me. maybe it is because I work regular hours? I have people to talk to every day? who knows, but it is good. I could get lost in the quagmire of my pursuit. I feel like a fool doing it, but I cannot stop. Not until he says to stop.

And even though it was warm out, I did not ride. I could have Saturday, but I slept and did some housework, it was pretty damp out too. sprinkles from the sky.. Yesterday I did things around the house when I could have ridden. It got chillier and it was intermittent rain/showers. So I have excuses but also I have more laziness than I want. 

Oh, kids bought me a sewing machine. I am happy happy.

going mobile

she’s upright mobile

Violet is walking. last week when I was over the house, she was taking steps, but not many in a row. she is now at warp 4. So cool to see. she is loving it too. it is a whole new world for her to see. she is getting into things and discovering the world and it is so cool to experience this.

welcome to the world outside of you little girl

thanksgiving

first thanksgiving in a long time that I am not doing it with mom. outside of the disaster of drunk Lauren not showing with all the essentials, like turkey in 2013 when mom went to bill’s for dinner, this one is going to be just my family. mike, jed. There was one when I went to old times with tommy. and the one where I went to seaman’s inn with stan and steve. 

have to go to work tomorrow, so no partying tonight. not that I party now. but it is the start of drinking season. so I will have a glass of wine, and maybe a scotch later this evening. no tv so no football games. that sucks. no parade either. work tomorrow will be quiet, not many coming in. i’d rather save my holiday for a day in the summer. 

i want to ride

being of sound whatever

one of these days I will figure out how I have gotten through this life by living in a dream. Maybe that is how so many years have gone by and nothing has been accomplished. Dreamstate.

I notice this morning the sun on the trees. The naked trees. no wind today. there has been quite a breeze over the past few days, blowing all the remaining leaves off. As usual in the early part of November. I wait for it. Sometimes it comes in the form of a storm, sometimes just a big windy day. This year it has been a steady wind day on monday and lots of small wind days. whatever

I was told on Monday that I was getting a raise. I guess bitching about not being included in the performance raise review worked. Over $2 though, so that makes me even with the entry level pay of web designer, and that is OK by me. The position does require knowing how to code, as opposed to whatever the internet specialists have to know. And I am going to pull my application to be web designer, I think I would have landed that job, and have been in a way asked to remove myself. So that we can hire a new person and be fully staffed. Yeah, I will now have more days being bored with nothing to do, but being paid more makes up for that.

I really hope that I can find mr mr tomorrow night, and talk to him. sit with him. I miss his smile. his eyes.