trying so hard for a new path

I am headed for a job interview this morning. Customer service. in a nice design company, furniture design. If it pays enough, and I get it, gone gone gone from casino. I need very much to get out of the casino. out of third shift. I have adapted to the work hours, and actually can enjoy them. But since the first of the year, the working conditions have deteriorated to the point I am in almost tears every night. No people. They did a rebid for shift, and of course the other shifts got filled with people from our shift. So where we were already short, we got shorter. And have to do the same job. and are getting bitched at when we can’t do the job to the old standards, with fewer people. I cannot do anything to change things, and it is frustrating. “I’ve taken to eating tramadols like candy, just to be able to sleep and then walk the miles. That started though before this stuff. Another story.

Violet is growing like a weed. She is so beautiful. Lauren is doing a good job so far in being patient. I see her at least once a week, and she smiles so wonderfully when she sees me. Someone who loves unconditionally, who is not a dog. 

Quiet holidays. Work and no money. Mom was released from her nursing home/rehab on Christmas eve. Having to go visit her a few times a week for the month was really pissing me off. and having to still go up there now every week is getting even more pissy. She has someone come in every day now, and she is paying it. But when I was there, she bitched about me asking for gas money. I am going to take her to the docs tomorrow and then she can have her hired help take her to any future appointments. Enough is enough. If I get a day job, she will have to do that anyway, I am not going to jeopardize a job for her needs. My needs come first.

And there is this guy. At work. I think I may write a whole separate post on this.