the waiting is the hardest part

lauren is having the boy. induced this morning. not heard
 much from her. i stay with Vi overnight tonight, and maybe i take her to see her brother tomorrow. or i come to work. whatever it be, waiting is so hard when you are distant. i can normally wait for something imminent for hours. and hours. but this is killing me!
 
 
 
 
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oh sweet child


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all eyes on deck

didnt ride today. i wanted to but time kinda got away on me. and it got HOT summertime style. so get up early and see if i can beat the bugs. really need to clear my head
 
 not taking my eyes off the prize tonight. find out for sure if my hunch is correct. and then what?
 
 i need to create something soon. what?
 
 
 
 
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the days fly

nothing big happening. grandson is not here yet. granddaughter is one fine 2 1/2 year old. smart and stubborn and exactly who she is.

chasing unobtanium has gone deD. not seen his old car at woods, did see for sale sign on it few months ago. maybe fired, maybe quit, maybe homeless living in a new vehicle. we will see tonight.

riding has been hampered by lots of rain, and family. im hoping to ramp it up much more before baby comes.

the crowd went crazy

and i just want to find my way to sanity again. wasted so much of my life chasing things that were never meant for me instead of things that i needed for a real life of fufillment. stupid stupid me

note to self: he left parking lot right in front of me while i was writing this post. stupid stupid me. i cant believe it. but he did go towards woods, i caught up. but dunkin called to him, i know he only got maybe 4 hours sleep max. next week maybe
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well well well

last night I asked him if he should put his car in the garage. nah, they ain’t coming for it yet. well, is there anything in the car that you should take out? yeah my pool cue, I will get it tomorrow. 

ha ha

car is gone this morning

bastard had to stroke his ego and buy a new car when he was barely making the payments on his old over indulgent big ass buick. he is on a fixed income. he can’t figure out a fucking budget?

no sympathy

Riding has been going good. not as much as I would like, but it is april and it is rainy. soon, soon

dad is still dad, mom is still mom. they are getting what they deserve I guess. karma is a bitch. and no, no sympathy. 

Little Violet is getting sooo big. talking up a storm and making sentences that I can understand! love her to pieces. Lauren is having a hard pregnancy baby due in two months, but I would bet on that not being set in stone

and I think mr mr is no longer in the woods. sold his car so it is harder to track him. maybe this weekend I track more. we see.

and me, well, just me

whoa

if it snows in the morning, do i still drive to work? supposed to get hit with noreaster tues/weds so i cant call in. and i want another attendance award and cant do that if i take another day off. sigh.
 
 
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so what’s that you say?

yeah, write more on the personal blog. ok so I will…
I am hoping to get out riding after work this week. Maybe even tonight. Last weekend it was too friggin cold and i was suffering from a nasty cold, still am, and it looks like this weekend may be the same. might even snow. uggh. 

pulled out my easel the other day. i will pull out my paints too. i need to create something. anything. writing, painting drawing or making bread. that is an idea for the weekend!  We see.

my update on mr mr is that i have not been able to track him down. no car in the garage on his work nights. it was parked at his house with a for sale sign i think two weeks ago? i think he lost his job at the woods. tough for a guy with no skills per se, at his age to lose a job. might get a bit more aggressive in finding out what happened. maybe even a visit to the woods on a weekend night? ummmm yeah.

why am I still obsessed with him? unobtanium? maybe.
 

finally a ride

and it was a nice ride. Pachaug of course. Had on my new pedals and rode with my timberlands on. I liked!
 


i was able to move my foot position on the pedal to help with the twisted knee that is taking it’s sweet time to heal. The snow was soft and the noise when riding over the virgin stuff was like a smush. It was 40 on the road so drop a few degrees for in the forest. but the snow was not melting so who knows. I was warm with the layers i had on. the EMS techwick base, BAP waffle topper, the nice gore bib shorts that zip up, and my EMS hi-vis wind jacket. Jeans 👖 on the bottom which was the only negative. got a bit sore in the crotch. i will wear my tights next weekend. I used the new craft gloves and at first they had my top end fingers kinda cold. i wore them over the thumbhole covering and put my riding gloves on over, so really the only part that was not double layer were the fingers. but it wasn’t bad and they warmed up. A pretty decent ride to the pond. i needed it bad. I will try to do the double next weekend. and change my seat back to one with the center cutout.
 


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when the winter isn’t a winter

except that the political arena is turning into a nuclear winter. The fascist is doing all he said he would do, very quickly. putting in place people who are not qualified for their jobs. I remotely suspect in order to fire them. already fired the attorney general he asked to stay on from Obama. my lord where would I start? probably the most sensitive for me would be selling our public lands. and promoting drilling on other public lands. he seems hell bent on keeping oil alive. There is so much more profit in solar, and wind. non-depleting sources. but he wants to reward people. for what who knows. I feel we are in the beginning of a long march back to neanderthal times in the US> the minority bible thumper will get their way with things. It will be hard to come back. but I will start to mobilize. and arm.

yeah fun times

i had to call 911 that Wednesday to get him to hospital. pneumonia. brought him home Saturday, in snowstorm. didn’t make it up hill so had to spend an hour digging out on Sunday. he was still out of it for a few days. this week he is better. i really want to be rid of him.
 
 
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